41. Repressed

 

I’ve chronically repressed my emotions. That I feel.

And I‘ve chronically repressed my sexuality. That I desire.

Unknowingly, unconsciously, I’ve been denying my humanness. So it’s no surprise that I’ve struggled with constipation forever. Everything manifests in our physical bodies.

I’ve been carrying my own repression as well as that of my ancestors before me—ancestors who didn’t have the same freedoms and privileges that I now have.

For the rest of my life, I’ll be on a journey to undo these first 23 years of repression…for myself, for my ancestors, and for generations to come. Just as trauma transcends time and space, so does healing.

I release tension
I release tears

I release desire
I release despair

I release laughter, shame, and fear

I release what isn’t mine
I release what doesn’t serve

I let it all out
And let it all show
To let it all go

For me and for you

 
Pei-Ling Lee