integrated evolution

disconnection – connection

For the first two decades of this incarnation, I got to experience life through the lens of separation, isolation, and dissociation. Feeling disconnected from myself, from others, from the physical body, from the heart, from emotions, from sensuality and sexuality, from joy, from playfulness, from the earth, from the stars, from spirit, from the divine, from love. I longed to feel the instant spark as well as the eternal illumination of connection.

Part of me deep with/in knew there must be more to life. An inner inkling of remembrance.

dis-ease – ease

This period of life was marked by intensely uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, and sensations that I suppressed, numbed, avoided, and feared. All of which manifested in anxious overwhelm and chronic constipation. I believed that I was bound to this personality, programming, the physical experience, this plane. I believed working hard was the path to success. I believed I needed external validation to prove my inherent worth.

I’d forgotten who I am. And everything in my experience — from my efforting to my worry to my bodily discomfort to my seeming lack of relational intimacy — was inviting me to remember.

depression — ascension

I came out of the womb energetically depressed — in a slower vibrational state. This allowed me to be a match for the conditions and context with/in which I’d grow up.