sunny day cloudy sky

Hello again dear friend, I've just sat down to see what comes through for this week's transmission and a fluffy puppy Mei Mei has promptly leaped onto my lap, circled a few times, and nestled across my belly in her optimal bone chewing position.

Oh, funny. As I acknowledge her here, now, she jumps off and returns to lie upon my bed.

How sweet, Mei Mei inviting me to include her here. Here's a majestic glimpse of Mei Mei when I took her to Davenport Landing Beach in Santa Cruz a few weeks ago. She truly is a water creature, perhaps with soul re-collections of Sirius and Lemuria.

Anyhoo, before I sat down and was joined by Mei Mei, I was actually noticing the energy of frustration arising around her presence. Honestly, if the frustration energy present speaks directly through my quantum voice, it says, “Mei Mei is being annoying…"

Oh, now shes back, nusing my face as hdf li king bone.

Translation: she's back, kissing my face as if she's licking her bone. She absolutely senses that I'm talking about her. It's like they're "I'm sorry, I love you" kisses. At least that's what I'm choosing to project onto her actions cause that's what part of me wants to hear.

Oh, and now she's brought her bone back to tuck into my cardigan for safe keeping.

Yep, and now she's sniffing my keyboard. Oh, okay, and another toy.

As you and I can both attest to, life can sometimes unfold in entirely unexpected ways. Even when we're listening to our intuition, our guides, our source of inspiration, even when we meticulously in-vision how things will go, the moment is still the moment. Multidimensional, ever-changing, infinite possibilities.

In times (like now) when I identify with the belief that the way things are in the moment aren't how they should be, I experience suffering and separation.

For instance, in the energy of frustration around Mei Mei's “annoying" presence. You see, I was trying to record myself performing a song that you've helped inspire. The song is called “thank you for being you”, and it's sweet, it's simple, and it's sentimental. And I was going to make my musical quantum voice debut to you here, now. Including the video in this transmission — though it has now yet to exist in digitally recorded form.

I'm speaking in the past tense, because the energy I'm speaking from is one attached with what should've, could've, would've been. Attached to visions of a promising future and a promising past. Protecting me from the potentially disappointing meh-ness of the present moment.

Cause here's the thing, I was (and am) trying. Attempting, striving, grasping, attaching, controlling, efforting.

And do you know what I'm now noticing? The sky outside is totally grey. Total cloud cover. The sun is nowhere in sight.

How reflective of the cloudy energies that seem to be present with/in me.

Even my typing experience right now is: type, type, type, delete, delete, delete, delete, type, delete, type, type, delete, delete, delete.

Effort.

It seems that I'm typing from within the clouds. That I'm trying to connect with the sun, but it seems like the clouds are getting in the way. That I'm, again, trying to communicate something from my heart, and the clouds are ruining the whole thing. I just wish that it would at least rain or something, so that the clouds could leave asap.

Ahh, here it is, emotion — energy in motion — is rising, tears are welling, throat is contracting. In some ways, I've been speaking around and speaking about this energy. Allow me to speak directly from this energy, through my quantum voice. (It's also worth noting that Mei Mei is now silently sleeping on my bed.) Here goes:

The murky brown energy seemingly impeding my throat: “No, I don't want to be heard. Don't see me. Let me just hide. And eat bagels. And sleep. You want me to have fun, but it's not fun. I'm not having fun.”

A protective energy of reasoning and judgement emerges through my mind, “I can't just flip a switch and suddenly start having fun. Give me time. Maybe one day I'll feel like it's fun to film myself singing and playing the guitar with an unfinished song and amateur-ish guitar-playing abilities, but that day is not today. That moment is not now. So just leave it, please. Let's move on. I don't want to talk about this anymore, I just want peace.”

A cloud of sadness across my heart, that — as I tune into — rises and forms as tears in my eyes, “Let me be as I am, please. Just let me be sad. Let me be small. Let me be quiet and invisible. Let me be.”

I'm placing one hand on my throat and one hand on my chest now, fully surrendering to fully allowing these energies to be present, meeting them with loving compassion. Exhaling with a “ha” sound. Belly grumbles. My digestion flows when I allow the energies that arise with/in my experience to be as they are and flow through as they naturally do.

I choose to listen to what is.
I choose to communicate what is.
I choose to allow what is to be as it is.
I choose to accept the truth of what is.
I choose to trust that what is present is meant to be.
I choose to include what is present in my experience of what is.

Haha! I'm glancing up now and the clouds are literally parting and dissolving, revealing the sunny blue sky that was always there. The miracles of this multidimensional existence! The power of sovereign choice! The wonders of expressing the quantum voice!

Of course the clouds outside of me dissolve as the clouds with/in me dissolve! Why wouldn't they? After all, every thing, every being, every one in life is a mirror, offering crystal clear reflections that invite us with/in our individual experiences of what is. I even notice this is the first time in this transmission that I'm typing and smiling. How grateful I am to receive the divine blessing of being re-minded that I'm pure magic. That life is pure magic! That we each are pure magic! Even when we seem to be lost, shrouded, invisible, frustrated, sad, alone among the clouds.

As the radiant, now-cloudless blue sky now shines before you and me, I invite you to join me in thanking the clouds that may seem to block us from the sun and thanking the rain that may seem to drown us in sadness.

Clouds that diffuse the light of my heart, rain that collects in my eyes as teardrops, thank you for being with/in my divine experience of what is. Thank you for offering me the opportunity to be with you, to witness you, to love you as you are. Thank you for inviting me to be present with/in the truth of what's here. Thank you for being.